relove- falling for the second time
the second fall is deeper
There’s a Japanese phrase that says koi no yokan. It doesn’t mean love at first sight. It’s closer to love at second sight. It’s the feeling when you meet someone and just know you’re going to fall in love with them.
Love is such a captivating feeling. The person it has shaped me into — it would be foolish to say that personal growth and emotional maturity aren’t deeply tied to intimacy with a partner. I love how I’m evolving alongside my relationship. This reciprocal connection is worth reflecting on.
It’s been nearly two years in my first-ever relationship, and just a few months ago, I began to feel a renewed surge of love — one where you truly begin to see the person for who they are, their essence unfolding in full bloom. I’m not saying I failed to see what lay beneath before, but this feeling hit me like a wave — sudden, consuming, and tender. Out of nowhere, I was willing to set aside my ego and tune into their emotions. The power struggles? Suddenly worth surrendering. They began to feel like a light in all my darkness.
Being away from them made me mentally unwell. I wanted to be better — for them, for us. I wanted us to last against all odds. I wanted to love them in every possible way. Grudges began to melt. The little slights that once felt sharp started to dissolve into irrelevance. Now I can’t contain the excitement — the whimsy, the silliness, the fondness, the naivety — when I connect with them. Being around them feels like safety in a world that’s often uncertain and brittle.
And I know this feeling can’t be forced. It wouldn’t have arrived if not for my spiritual growth and inner clarity. I’m finally seeing things through a lens of love and conscious evolution. Love and growth are inseparably tied. The reason for this revelation wasn’t butterflies and sunshine. It was wiping away the tears, sitting face to face, grabbing their hands, and letting them see through you. It was about being vulnerable enough to ask why you felt what you felt.
It meant learning their love languages, not overlooking the quiet intimacy of everyday moments. It meant setting boundaries — and understanding why they were crossed when they were. Growth is messy — it's tears on the bedsheets, long pauses, misunderstood silences — but the person it shapes you into is worth every sharp edge. The world needs more love. People need to love themselves more than they think they can — because that’s the only way to act from a true place of love. Anything else is just a performance. Pretending in a union only pulls you further from what you genuinely deserve — and farther from the places you were always meant to go.